Day 11. Is It Final?

It has been a while since I updated due to there not being an update. We seem to have calls all the time but no real solution to our problems. If you are new here and wonder what I am talking about, head here to learn about the beginning of this journey.

Since I last talked to you I have talked with people from Wave 3 and today had a conversation from someone at the Courier-Journal. At the beginning I thought all of the media attention would help us, but I am struggling because it doesn't seem to be doing much good.

We continue to get calls to tell us not to sell our cows...there is hope. Only for the next day someone to call and say, "Well, that fell through." Most of the farmers still impacted by the situation have conceded to the outcome of having to sell all of our cows. And it hurts.

Milkman and I headed to a meeting put together by the Tennessee Farm Bureau and the Kentucky Farm Bureau to meet with the administrators of the Federal Milk Marketing Order. They explained the roles of the order and what they do and do not do. One of which is guarantee us a marketing for our milk. This meeting was not held specifically for those who lost their contracts with Dean's it was more for the dairies of the Appalachia and Southeast orders to understand the role of the FMMO.

We also sent 8 cows to a dairy sale barn a week ago. To say it was easy would be to sugarcoat it. That is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and hardest things I have ever had to witness. Now, I have witnessed it before. My step-father sold his cows back in 2013 and I was there when the guy came with a semi-truck and loaded them all up and took them out to Oklahoma.

This was different.

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I watched my husband put his dreams on a trailer to be sold to the highest bidder. I crumbled with him after the trailer left. We cried. We tried to take our kids to the splash park but it doesn't open till this weekend, #momfail. I am doing all I can to keep him front and center while I "not so silently" grieve too. Have I mentioned, I suck at grieving?

These next 11 days are going to challenge us. Challenge our emotions, challenge our relationships, challenge us as parents, challenge our faith, challenge everything. 

Good thing we have each other, because this phase of life is stupid hard.